i am trying to live a softer life but april still hangs heavy around my neck,
like an old halo that has forgotten i am still living.
it is sad. you took the light and left a leash.
now i am always hungry,
begging tomorrow for just one more chance with yesterday.
i’m here by the skin of my teeth. i’m here because once,
when i tried to get out of the pool, loneliness dragged me back in
and i’ve been holding my breath ever since.
party’s over. it ended before we arrived.
we spent too long sitting in your car describing each other’s faces in the dark,
as if we both already knew what was coming.
when you pressed your lips against mine
the way desire does with greed i understood,
finally, the beauty in being gone.
my mistake. i thought if we were quiet enough the night would leave us alone.
instead, the fog took what it always does and suddenly
we were left with unrecognizable limbs, teeth cut by want.
being left behind is a lingering consequence.
my only regret is not disappearing first.